“Just one step forward could change the course of your life - and the lives of others - forever.” - Lara Casey
Many of you might not know this, but this isn’t my first go at blogging… I did have one before, but wildly, it's been almost ten years! So as I considered my next blog post, I took some time to look back on some of my old writings.
Unfortunately, I don’t have all of them saved, but I managed to find a few. I thought it was quite timely to find this one that I wrote just after I turned 32.
When I turned 29 years old, I was having somewhat of a quarter life crisis - I was almost 30 and I felt like I had let too much of my life pass by without intention. I had just come out of a rough season, and I felt like I had the chance to start over, so I #hashtagged my 29th year of life as #myintentionadventure (you can search it on instagram.. I think.. apparently hashtags are becoming extinct..), I even created a website for it. I did everything I could to be intentional about my life that year, and I’d like to think I carried that word, intention, with me each year after that. I had a clever #hashtag title for each year from 29 to 32 (#allthingsnew32). As I was writing this, I thought I was coming out of an incredibly hard season - it was hard, but little did I know that life was about to get a whole lot harder…
Here’s the blog that I wrote sometime after I turned 32 in July, and before the end of September 2017:
I must say that it was not easy to figure out what my aspirations were for 32 and how I was going to, in the words of Lara Casey, “cultivate what matters.” I felt like 31 got away from me and I felt as though I didn’t follow through on many of the goals I had set for myself. But I need to give myself grace and be thankful for the things I did accomplish - afterall, 32 started off looking quite different than years past. I was already well into August and so many changes were happening. So this year I decided that I would embrace the changes. They might not all be changes happening by choice, but the way that I choose to embrace and accept them will surely make for a better year.
So all things new, thirty-two.
So, what’s new? You ask. So many things, things on the surface and things deep within. But the biggest change happening this year, I should say most noticeable from an outside view, is in my career. I have put a lot of thought into this decision and feel it’s time. In October I will be stepping down from my position as store manager at Starbucks in order to pursue my passions. I will be transferring to another store to be a shift supervisor. This was not an easy decision to make; mainly because I’m comfortable, I’ve been there for four and a half years and I’m making a comfortable salary, I like my team, why would I want to change that? Because I believe my purpose on this earth is greater. And frankly, if I stay where I am I’m not only occupying a spot for someone else who could potentially develop my store and my partners even further, I am also disserving my partners by not giving them my all. I know it’s what I need to do, I know that it’s going to teach me to be better with my finances, to budget, to appreciate the things I already have, and to really focus on what’s important in this life: humanity.
To most this may seem like a step backwards, but for me it’s a step forward in so many ways. I have to be brave and I have to trust that there’s a bigger and better future out there. If I want to live intentionally, I should probably start with the area that takes up most of my time; my career. Sure I could stay at Starbucks as a store manager and remain “comfortable.” But there’s so much more to life than being comfortable. I want to finish my degree and I want to spend more time doing the things that ignite the fire within me. I want to teach ballet, I want to dance, I want to help others, I want to fight human trafficking, I want to be a compassionate entrepreneur and empower other women globally, I want to use my creativity. So in my mind I am taking a giant leap forward and I couldn’t be more excited (and nervous) about it!
It’s taken me some time to come to terms with being thirty two and still single, especially while a lot of my friends are married and many of them with children. However, I do have some pretty incredible friends, ones that no matter where we are in life we will always remain steadfast in our friendship with one another, and we will continue to learn from and grow with each other. I have learned to be grateful for where I am, and rather than spend my time waiting, I’m going to put my best foot forward and continue cultivating the life I was made for. I am going to be content with uncomfortability; because if I’m satisfied without mobility I will begin to lose sight of my goals, and I risk the chance of failing to reach my full potential.
In two weeks I will be in a new store with the chance to meet, impact and be impacted by other people. I will be back to school at ASU, pursuing my degree in psychology, while teaching ballet alongside my near and dear friend at Artistic Visions, fighting human trafficking by taking on the role of Volunteer Coordinator at Love True, and empowering women through Trades of Hope. It’s a lot, and it’s scary, but I am ready for the challenge! After all, there couldn’t be a better time than now!
“Just one step forward could change the course of your life -and the lives of others- forever.” -Lara Casey
That quote sits differently now, almost ten years later.
…it was September of that year that I lost my brother Seth. So needless to say, things didn’t go quite as planned. But God is merciful, and all things were certainly new in 32, just not the way I had imagined they would be.
I did continue in my role as Volunteer Coordinator at Love True and I taught the most amazing group of dancers at my friend’s studio. And by the end of the following year, I began an entirely new career, one that has allowed me to thrive in so many of the areas that I am passionate about. I have been able to be the change both across the street and around the world and I have met an incredible group of people who have become like family. I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many incredible humans both professionally and personally. I am so grateful to God for how He has used this last decade of my life for a greater purpose and I am anticipating all that’s ahead.
I don’t have a hashtag for 41, I have something better - it’s a dream for the years to come; that’s The Gathered Thread Collective - and I am going to chase it one day at a time.
