Better late than never..
“Summer” feels different at this stage of life. Forgive me as I meant to post this in the beginning of the month … but life gets busy!
Growing up, there was a clear beginning and end to summer because of the school calendar. And there were so many fun things that defined my summers, and ample time to do them all! I loved swimming, and I spent hours swimming in pools. There was endless time with friends. We played outside for hours at a time. We did crafts at the park, colored on the front porch or under the tree, and pretended we were the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to charge our parents for babysitting our siblings. There was Backyard Bible Club and vacations at the Jersey Shore. I had time to be in the moment: to make friends at the beach looking for shells and sea glass, to cook noodles in the sun at Grandma’s, and to chase after my brother as he chased the ice cream truck!
What I’ve realized is that my life has changed post (and I mean POST) college, and my summers are no longer defined by the end and the beginning of the school year. Even so, I’m still living with the same expectations. More than that, I think I inherently feel that summer should feel the way it always did: like a break from real life, like I have extra time to do ALL of the things.
My mind and body are expecting a release, like I will have all this time to myself, to soak in the sun, to be restored. But the truth is, summer is when my social obligations seem to ramp up: family reunions, picnics, graduations, weddings, etc. I “suffocate under the weight of plans,” and work, unfortunately, doesn’t stop for summer.
The past few years, I have spent most of the month of July celebrating my birthday. When I was younger, it was simple: a pool party with ice cream sundaes. Now I have a lot of circles of friends and family, and I get overwhelmed having everyone in the same place at once. There’s this self-imposed pressure to connect with everyone at the party. So instead, I like to spread it out. But sometimes that starts to feel more like a to-do list, making sure I plan some sort of birthday get-together with each unique group. (Friends, you can start planning these for me… just don’t make it a “surprise.” I am not a fan of surprises, and not for the reasons you’d think. I usually figure them out ahead of time, and then I’m in this awkward place of pretending to be surprised and having to lie when someone asks if I was surprised 🫠.) Anyway, there’s a season for everything, and maybe celebrating my birthday in my 40s will start to look a little different.
So after experiencing my 41st summer, I think perhaps it’s time I consider altering my mindset a little, don’t you? How do I make time to enjoy the things I love most about summer?
Now, please don’t think I didn’t have a wonderful summer. This can all start to make me sound a bit selfish or ungrateful, but I promise I am so truly grateful, and I don’t take any of this for granted. This summer was good, it was hard, it was full, it was reflective, it was inspiring, and it was eye-opening.
Halfway through summer, I feel like I really amped up my intentionality game. That tracks, because I often do life reflection and goal setting around my birthday (I learned this from my non-best friend). As another year passes, I take time to reflect on my dreams and my progress (or lack of), and that usually inspires me to take a step forward. For example, this year I launched my blog/website, The Gathered Thread.
My summer was bookended by two beautiful celebrations of my dear friend: her bachelorette weekend and her wedding. It meant the world to be such a special part of them. One of the ways I did that was by offering my creativity through flowers and decor. It helped me build relationships with my friends and the community, and learn more about my friend, the bride, through those who loved her most. I look forward to sharing a blog specifically about my summer of flowers and how it’s lingering into the fall.
And let’s not forget, the World Cup came to America! It was incredible to be so close to the events. But it wasn’t all fun and games (no pun intended). Ahead of the World Cup, my team and I worked with local organizations like the New Jersey Coalition Against Human Trafficking and S.O.A.P. to bring attention to human trafficking and how to help prevent it. It was a major effort, and I was grateful to be a small part of it. This particular World Cup also captured my heart. I was proud to be Norwegian as I rooted for Norway all the way to the quarterfinals! Their run ended on July 11 with a loss to England, but we did not lose our Norwegian pride!
There was also a call to deeper reflection, as those I love experienced milestones and great losses. Walking alongside a dear friend’s family in prayer as they lost their 11-year-old daughter, Adelaide, changed me in ways I’m still carrying. She left this earth on August 11. I’ll share more about that season in a separate post.
And last, but certainly not least, I ended my summer with a trip to Portugal, a country that has become another place I can call home. We’ve been going there on and off for the past 10 years, so this was my seventh visit. It was a beautiful time of relaxation, visiting with family, exploring new places, and returning to our favorites. And the days actually felt like they passed slowly. I read through two books and started a third, Jane Eyre, after being encouraged by my sister-in-love to read the classics- even if they are long, to enjoy it. I’m still only halfway through, but I am doing just that - enjoying it! Portugal was truly the perfect way to “end” my summer.
Then came September 11, and 25 years later, we remembered the tragedy of 9/11. I can still remember exactly where I was that day. I even found a newspaper in my attic from September 12, 2001, and I spent some time reflecting on the events of that day.
As I write this, I can’t help but notice the 11s. July 11. August 11. September 11. An 11-year-old girl who changed my summer. And on a much lighter note, I can’t forget those dang elevens on my forehead… the many years of sun and summers that contributed to the 11s that now rest between my eyebrows. Maybe it’s my reminder (literally written on my face) that time goes by quickly, and the moments are worth paying attention to.
As I say goodbye to summer this year, I want to remember how those slow days felt. I want to remember in 2027 the way I am feeling now. I don’t want to approach another summer the same way, letting it fly by and only making it to the beach a handful of times (unless of course that’s all I intended). I want to consider what it means to “summer” in my adult life, and to make the most of it. After all, summer was once my favorite season!
