Forty-One

A couple days ago, I turned 41. It's difficult to explain exactly how it feels to have entered my forties. My friends and I keep circling back to the same strange thing: we are now the age we remember our moms being.

When I think back to my mom at 41, she still had yet to have Emma — her eighth child, my youngest sibling and my only sister. And here I am at 41, surrounded by incredible humans, and one four-legged fur-child, Walter Kevin.

Needless to say, we are two very different people at 41 AND (because my friend Brianna reminds me that more than two things can be true at once) I am discovering just how much alike we are… more on that later.

At 41, I am still discovering my purpose. And I am still excited about it. Still wondering what I want to be “when I grow up.”

Though I don't have that answer yet, I have wrapped my heart around this: being the change — or the love — that I wish to see in the world. It's a phrase I've carried for a long time, and I love watching how God keeps morphing it in and through my life. I believe that God is Love and I believe we are all created in His image, and that we therefore carry Him — Love — within us. And that love is meant to be shared. Freely. With the world.

The older I get, the more I know - or the more I know the less I know... And sometimes the more you know, the more you hold back. You learn more about humanity, about yourself, and it can make it that much more difficult to love freely. Or, easier. It really all depends on how you look at it.

I tend to look at the bright side. I try to (actually it comes quite naturally, and sometimes to my detriment) see and fight for the good in people — something that is not always received well. I think the problem is that in trying to stand up for the other, I can forget the person standing in front of me… and I am so sorry if that happens to be you! I am working on it. 

All this to say: I have a lot to say. And that is why I am starting this blog.

I hope it grows into something bigger. A space that enables us to find commonalities in one another while also celebrating our differences. Something that brings hope and gathers community — an intentional space to grow one.

I have dreams of my own little physical space, where I can sell beautiful goods and gather beautiful people. But for now, I'll start here, in the digital — and I hope you'll join me on this journey and be part of the foundation.

Oh and, I am working really hard at using Actual intelligence … 🙃